LOVE, LIGHT & VISION

“Vision is the art of seeing what is invisible to others.”

“Vision looks inward and becomes duty.Vision looks outward and becomes aspiration.Vision looks upward and becomes faith.”


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Saturday, June 6, 2009

Zodiac..................


ARIES : Impulsive Aries like to party and sometimes don't know when to call it a night. Their competitive streak makes them prone to closing-time shot contests. They're sloppy, fun drunks, and they get mighty flirty after a couple tipples. Getting Aries people drunk is a good way to get what you want out of them, should other methods fail. Aries can become bellicose when blotto, but they will assume that whatever happened should be forgiven (if not forgotten) by sunrise. They can be counted on to do the same for you - so long as you haven't gone and done anything really horrible to them last night, you sneaky Gemini.

TAURUS : Taurus prefers to drink at a leisurely pace, aiming for a mellow glow rather than a full-on zonk. Since a truly intoxicated Taurus is a one-person stampede, the kind of bull-in-a-china- shop inebriate who spills red wine on white carpets and tells fart jokes to employers, the preference for wining and dining (or Bud and buddies) to body shots and barfing is quite fortunate for the rest of us. This is not to say that the Bull is by any means a teetotaler - god, no. A squiffy Taurus will get, er, gregarious (full of loud mouth soup, some would say) and is extremely amusing to drag to a karaoke bar when intoxicated

.GEMINI : Gemini's can drink without changing their behavior much - they're so naturally chatty and short-attention- spanned that it's just hard to tell sometimes. They can amaze you by conversing with finesse and allusion, then doing something to belie an extremely advanced state of intoxication, like puking in your shoe. Gemini's possess the magic ability to flirt successfully (and un-infuriatingly, which is very tricky) with several people at once. They like to order different cocktails every round - repetition is boring - and may create a theme (like yellow drinks: beer, sauvignon blanc and limoncello) for their own amusement.


CANCER : Cancer is a comfort drinker - and an extra wine with dinner or an after-work beer or six can be extra comforting, can't it, Cancer darling? Like fellow water signs Scorpio and Pisces, Crabs must guard against lushery. Cancers are brilliant at ferreting out secret parties and insinuating themselves on VIP lists - and, in true Hollywood style, Cancers are never really drunk; instead, they get "tired and emotional" (read: weepy when lubricated). But there's nothing better than swapping stories (and spit) over a few bottles of inky red wine with your favorite Cancer. Even your second-favorite Cancer will do. The sign also rules the flavor vanilla, and you'd be adored if you served up a vanilla vodka and soda.

LEO : Leo likes to drink and dance - they're often fabulous dancers, and usually pretty good drinkers as well, losing their commanding dignity and turning kittenish. Of course, they're quite aware they're darling -Leos will be Leos, after all. They generally know their limit, probably because they loathe losing self-control. When they get over-refreshed, expect flirting to ensue - and perhaps not with the one what rung them. But Leo's not the type to break rules even when drunk, so just try to ignore it (try harder, Cancer) and expects a sheepish (and hung over) Lion to make it up to you the next day.

VIRGO : Cerebral Virgos are compelled to impose order onto their bender. Their famously fussy quest for purity could lead to drinking less than other signs, sure - but it could also lead to drinking booze neat, to sucking down organic wine or just to brand loyalty. They rarely get fully shellacked -- but, oh, when they do! Virgo's controlled by the intellect, but there's an unbridled beast lurking within, and they let it loose when walloped. It's dead sexy (and surprisingly un-sloppy). As one Virgo friend used to declare, "I'm going to drink myself into a low-level of intelligence tonight." A toast to the sub genius IQ!

LIBRA : "I'm jusht a social drinker," slurs Libra, "it's jusht that I'm so damn social?" Libra loves nothing more than to party, mingle and relate to everyone. Whether dipped in favor of Good Libra (with Insta-Friend device set to "on") or heavier on the Evil Libra side (they are little instigators when bored), the Scales can really work a room. Charming as they are, Libras are notoriously lacking in self-control, however, which can get them into all sorts of trouble - including wearing their wobbly boots waay too early in the evening, flirting with every man/woman in the room or even blacking out the night's events entirely. Oops!

SCORPIO : Don't ever tell Scorpios they've had enough, for they'll smirk at you and quietly but intentionally keep tippling till they're hog-whimpering drunk, out of 100-proof spite. Scorpios like to drink, and screw you if you have a problem with that. Most of them seethe sauce as something to savor in itself, and not as a personality- altering tool - though if depressed, self-loathing Scorps seek total obliteration. But generally, they're fascinating drinking pals, brilliant conversationalists and dizzying flirts. They also remember everything - especially what you did when you were blitzed. Only drink with a Scorpio who likes you.

SAGITTARIUS : In vino veritas - and, for Sagittarius, in booze blurriness: When buttered, they'll spill all your secrets and many of their own. Tactlessness aside, Sagittarius is just plain fun to drink with. This is a sign of serious partying (what else would you expect from the sign of Sinatra, Keith Richards, the Bush twins and Anna Nicole Smith?). They're the people who chat up everyone in the room, then persuade the entire crowd to travel somewhere else - like a nightclub, or a playground, or Cancun. Good - natured hi jinks are sure to ensue (including a high possibility of loopy groping; spontaneous Sag is a brilliant booty call).

CAPRICORN : Capricorn is usually described as practical, steadfast, money-hungry and status-thirsty - no wonder they get left off the astrological cocktail-party list. But this is the sign of David Bowie and Annie Lennox, not to mention Elvis. Capricorn is the true rock star: independent, powerful and seriously charismatic, not too eager to please. And if they make money being themselves, who're you to quibble? But just like most rock stars, they're either totally on or totally off, and they generally need a little social lubricant to loosen up and enjoy the after party, especially if they can hookup with a cute groupie.

AQUARIUS : Aquarius and drinking don't go together that well (except for water, that is). They have an innate tendency toward know-it-allism, and if they get an idea while sizzled, they're more stubborn than a stain or a stone. If they're throwing a party or organizing an outing, however, they're too preoccupied with their duties to get combative - and they make perfectly charming drunks in that case. Fortunately, they're usually capital drink-nursers. They also make the best designated drivers (if you can get them before they start raising their wrist). Aquarius is fascinated by drunk people and capable of holding interesting conversations with soused strangers while sober.

PISCES : If you're a Pisces, you've probably already heard that you share a sign and an addictive personality - with Liz Taylor, Lisa Minnelli and Kurt Cobain. Not only do Pisces like to lose themselves in the dreamy, out-there feeling that only hooch can give, but they build up a mighty tolerance fast. Who needs an expensive date like that? On the other hand, they're fabulously enchanting partners, whether in conversation or in crime. With the right Pisces, you can start out sharing a pitcher of margaritas and windup in bed together for days. The phrase "addictive personality" can be read two ways, you know.

Friday, June 5, 2009

Attitude..........




Life, it is said, is a great teacher. It is indeed an eye-opener on a huge scale. Life presents situations constantly – some of which are easily resolvable, some maddeningly confusing, some totally scary. But anyway one might look at things – the common underlying factor is the same.

Through it all, as we traverse this journey called life, at each and every turn, there is something to be learnt. So is the case with death too. It is a teacher in its own right. And no – I’m not speaking in terms of rebirth. I’m speaking in terms of what death teaches the living.

I realized this after my dad passed away. I realized that one can learn just about as much (maybe more) from death than one has through life. And in saying that, I am talking in terms of societal taboos and societal acceptance.

As we grow, there are certain rules instilled in us – rules which ensure that one stays within the realms of what society considers “normal” and “acceptable”. As we grow, the feeling is fortified by immediate family that it is the family which is the unquestioned support system in times of need. As we grow, the idea is planted by society that one needs to adhere to a certain set of laws that are considered conventional.

My question is – “What is conventional ?” and how does one define the term “Conventional”. Why do people expect others to be bound by conventionality and rules even in extreme situations ? And what gives the so called “pillars of the society” the right to judge people who do not fall within their definition of “conventional” ?

For instance, the day my dad passed away – the house was full of people who had come in to offer their condolences. In the midst of all that had to happen that day in terms of rituals and what have you, there were people who made it their business to comment on the fact that my mother did not howl her heart out. She did not create a scene, nor were there any hysterically emotional scenes. The question in circulation that day, the question that was in vogue that day was “does she not care ? Because if she did, she would not have remained so silent.”

How did these people think that it was their god given right to judge things ? And since when has grief been quantified by the amount of tears shed ?

Different people grieve in different ways. It is pretty much an expression of one’s pain. Like the expression of physical pain which differs from person to person, so does mental anguish and emotional distress. And in the midst of all that angst that we were going through in trying to cope with the loss of a loved one, there were rather blatant questions being put forth – questions that people had no business asking.

People were commenting on the fact that I was not wearing a sari on the day my father passed away. Should this even have been a matter of discussion ? Just in case people had forgotten what they were there for, it sure was not for a fashion show.

And there were many more such instances where the whole thing began to be viewed as some sort of a power play, a circus even. The control freaks had a field day, knowing very well that there would not be any active resistance to the way in which they manipulated situations to suit themselves and their rigid attitudes. That they were wrong to have assumed that is a different story – that would be an essay in itself.

What made me put this into words today is the fact that there was another death in the family about a week back. And it is no surprise per se, but the same scenes are being repeated there by some so called “senior members” of the family. People who “know-it-all”. People don’t seem to learn. Sadly enough, people don’t seem to want to learn.

And it is not an educated guess when I say this – but more of experience talking – when I say that in circumstances like these, when people around you decide and pass judgment as to whether you are in the right or the wrong in having done something or not having done something – it takes a lot out of you to maintain a sense of equilibrium.

And what does one do to find some stability in the face of such insensitive remarks being hurled or inconsiderate questions being posed ?

If there’s one thing that I learnt, it is the fact that one has to learn to “let it slide”. One has to learn not to be affected by the observations and interpretations of all and sundry. If people want to write a review about how one behaved whilst having to cope with the loss of a loved one, let them. If they want to conduct some sort of behavioral analysis and use you as a subject right then and there, let them.

It is not an easy thing to do – definitely not when one is in a situation when one is feeling rather raw and chafed from having to deal with the loss of a loved one, when one is struggling to cope with loss, not knowing how to cope. It is very difficult to stomach such attitudes right then.

But the key lies in “acceptance”. Acceptance of the fact that some people and their attitudes might never change. Acceptance of the fact that it is futile to hope for a transformation. Acceptance of the fact that not everybody lives by one’s own ideals.

And the first and foremost thing that helps in bringing about such an acceptance is one’s own Attitude.



Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference. ~ Winston Churchill
Our attitude in learning to accept that some things and some people will never change, no matter what. Our attitude in learning to accept that while we cannot dictate how others behave, we certainly can control our reactions. And once this attitude is in place, it does bring along with it a rather curious sense of peace. It brings along with it a sense of relief – from not having to clash with someone else in terms of “ideals”. End of the day, in not reacting to situations such as these, what we do ourselves is a big favor. We save ourselves a lot of unwanted mental anguish and superfluous emotional trauma.

This quote by Charles R. Swindoll says it all

The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life.

Attitude to me is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill. It will make or break a company...a church...a home.

The remarkable thing is you have a choice every day regarding the attitude you will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past...we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is ten percent what happens to me and ninety percent how I react to it.

And so it is with you. You are in charge of your attitude.